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SELF MUMMIFICATION!   
12:45am 13/02/2010
  A few Buddhist temples in northern Japan are home to “living mummies” known as sokushinbutsu (即身仏). The preserved bodies are purportedly those of ascetic monks who willingly mummified themselves in the quest for nirvana.

To become a living mummy, monks had to undergo a long and grueling three-step process.
Step 1: For 1,000 days, the monks would eat a special diet of nuts and seeds, and engage in rigorous physical training to strip the body of fat.

Step 2: For another 1,000 days, they would eat only bark and roots in gradually diminishing amounts. Toward the end, they would start drinking tea made from the sap of the urushi tree, a poisonous substance normally used to make Japanese lacquer bowls, which caused further loss of bodily fluid. The tea was brewed with water from a sacred spring at Mt. Yudono, which is now known to contain a high level of arsenic. The concoction created a germ-free environment within the body and helped preserve whatever meat was left on the bone.

Step 3: Finally, the monks would retreat to a cramped underground chamber connected to the surface by a tiny bamboo air pipe. There, they would meditate until dying, at which point they were sealed in their tomb. After 1,000 days, they were dug up and cleaned. If the body remained well-preserved, the monk was deemed a living mummy.
Unfortunately, most who attempted self-mummification were unsuccessful, but the few who succeeded achieved Buddha status and were enshrined at temples. As many as two dozen of these living mummies are in the care of temples in northern Honshu.
The Japanese government outlawed the practice of self-mummification in the late 19th century.

horrifying

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P.S.   
11:00pm 12/02/2010
  I got my wish... and after a full year in Japan... I'm moving to the HEART of 京都 (Kyoto)... To think... only like a year and a month ago I was on here... complaining about JUST THAT!!!... and now look at me... ONE FULL YEAR LATER... EXACTLY (March 25th) I'll be moving there... into the apartment (of my dreams... lets not sound to dramatic) and I'll be settling in for another year in Japan... To think back that I was so pissed about Hamamatsu... it wasn't that bad... I'll miss the closeness of Tokyo... you know... now that I weigh 150 pounds and am a HIGH END fashion model... Harim Pants, neon orange hair, translucent skin and a strong affinity for CLOAKS...

さやなら浜松。こんにちは京都!
 
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Banned!   
10:53pm 12/02/2010
  Tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA!!! So I'm taking it easy this Friday night! I acted out in DIVA fashion at ninjavideo.net and was BANNED!!! Now... I'm screwed on watching ALL AMERICAN programing!!! LOL!!!! Hahahah!!! Tomorrow is gonna be fun... FREE ALCOHOL... ALL NIGHT... Does Marty really know what he's doing?!... I MEAN ME?!?!?! I can DRINK INFINITY!!!!

だれの酒はですか?ぱちさせていだたきます!お休みなさい!シケ!

So hungry, desperate, nervous!
 
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So... everyone is blogging?!   
03:55pm 25/11/2009
  Ughhh... what the fuck. This thing goes back almost 10 fucking years... and I was looking into starting a new blog... but why not just use this ole thing?... I mean... whatever... I'll just link it to facebook and, pow, wham, presto... instant cultural comidic comentary...

Let's start off with the Japanese use of (Yosh...) what the fuck?... everytime you stand up and sit down... why?... anyways... I think I'm gonna nurse myself back into the process... my sarcastic wit has failed in my writing lately... what after I fried all those synapsises... is that how you spell that word... speaking of frying my brain...

anyways... good luck.
 
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you know those things that happen...   
06:28pm 23/03/2009
  Those things that... no matter what someone says... they just won't be better... well... out of the 25 trainees in Hamamatsu... only 5 of them are stationed here... the other 20... they are all located 10 minutes outside of KYOTO... you know... that fucking place... in Japan... that I lived... and know... SUPER well... like beyond how much any of the silly little fuckers going there know?... well... I'm fucking PISSED... how do these things happen to me... I mean... sure... Im a bad person and everything... but come on!... today someone asked me if slurping was ok... ohhh... someone else... they asked what green tea was when they took a sip of it... and someone else... "Can I get a fork... I can't use chopsticks..." these are the fucking people GOING TO KYOTO... while I'm trapped in clowntown, japan... pissed as fuck... in my apartment that sits on a PARKING LOT... I can't even find goddamn loft... I'm enraged... be optimistic I keep telling myself... life's a challenge! But what the fuck!... Imagine !!!.... just fucking IMAGINE!...

I started smoking again...

Good news (i guess)... the only ones left in Hamamatsu with me are the fat ones and the black ones... I made friends with the black ones... one is from New York... but went to school in London for 4 years... and acquired and english accent... (can I do that?)... like clear as day english accent... she went there when she was 19... what the fuck?... I thought your brain couldn't do that... The other is a jamaican who probably is putting up with me out of the shear fact that there is no other guys... I'm the only one... the black girl... and the fat girls are the only other ones... So... wow... the fat ones are from L.A. and London... and are cool... I guess... I can't wait to be in a bar (if i can find one) and be like... WIND IT UP!!! in the fat girls face and push her down a flight of stairs... (all in good fun of course)... and then get beaten up by the jamaican... whatever the fuck... I'm enraged... I really can't even explain whats going on here...

Not to mention... teaching Japanese youth is like being a CLOWN... no really... like... FUCKING BOWTIE AND RED NOSE... I have to be SO fucking fake... and I could do it... knowing I had refuge in where I was... ohhh wait... where I am... (so far... yes... I haven't seen much) is hungry as FUCK... there isn't even a fucking LAWSON!... where am I gonna get my rilakkuma fix... I don't know...

So... me for the next year: clown, living in clowntown, teaching for a dime a day, hanging out with black people and fat chicks...

Should be fun... sike... I'm going to become fluent in Portuguese, only play soccer, and convert to judaism...
 
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who vs. foo...   
10:38pm 21/03/2009
  japanese cannot pronounce the w-h sound and I love it... trying to explain `give me my shit` or the `shit` part of that statement is impossible... americans use shit for almost ANY noun... i want my `shit` back... give me that `shit`... i need some `shit`... i bought this `shit` at the mall... I never realized how weird this was until I tried to explain it to someone... perhaps americans dont value there things (what dongil said)... i dont know... maybe...

best saying `When I imagine Eastern Europe I think of woman who sell body`... I realized he was talking about mail order bride... which he later called `bitch wife`... apparently only bitches smoke too... `Do japanese girls smoke more now a days...` I queried... `only bitch ones` he said... well sign me up to befriend the bitch types...

Yakitori is good in theory but... meat should NOT be crunchy...

When inquiring about fat people in america... the conversation somehow became confusing and lead to me saying... sometimes fat people are like depressed because of media image and shit... and dongil took this to mean fat people cannot make friends or `the most important thing to make friends is stay skinny?`... I laughed and said yes... but insisted I was being sarcastic... which he also didn`t understand... oh well...

I finally learnt kanji for pork, chicken, beef and fish... no more fucking fish based ramen...

Watashi wa ringwo tabemasu...
 
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Karaoke never gets old...   
02:03pm 21/03/2009
  So last night... I went to karaoke kind of sober... uhhh... no less crazy! I lost my voice... but more importantly took 500 amazing VIDEOS of young horny japanese guys thrusting to songs by hot young japanese girls... SO AMAZING! I cant wait till my computer is up and running with the internet... which will probably never happen (hah) so I can upload these...  
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Matsuya for girls!   
08:47pm 20/03/2009
  Today in Shibuya I went to Matsuya and it was run by all girls... not fugly ones either... no coarse skin... wonky teeth... hot ones... bizarre... Anyways... I explored Tokyo alone today and think I could easily guide someone through it now... I feel confident I know the important places... but seriously... Donkihote in Akihabara is amazing... and I love Loft... Harajuku is getting overrun by douchebag gai-jin with there fucking Japanese girlfriends and they are all desperate... except me of course... who is obviously better than them... especially with my fucking red hair and korean eye shape... anyways... I thrifted for days and found SO many fucking gems I cant believe it... At the end of the day I actually found my way back to jiyugaoka and didnt really get lost... stopped for canned gintonics and found EPIC rilakkuma JUMBO... strawberry ice cream with coffee goo combo! so delicious... Tonight is supposedly karaoke... aka... watch the crazy foreigner sing like an asshole... so im drinking alone in dongils apartment debating the phone call...

i dont see how today could get messed up.
 
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So...   
12:42pm 12/03/2009
  Mark my words... I am going to start updating again...

So... I finally got pictures of my apartment in Japan... It is right out of Fifth Element... I'm fucking serious... there is a fucking DELIVERY hatch... Uhhh not to mention LOFTED space ABOVE the SHOWER where I can fucking SLEEP... I serious can't wait to fucking DIVE inside and do some victory masturbation... all over the fucking HYPER MODERN carpet/tatami mats... what the fuck... oh and for some reason... there's like see through glass everywhere... I feel like I'm going to be living in one of those places you like... see in those metropolis magazines... sike... They like e-mailed me back and were like... instead of paying 500$ a month for rent... would you like to pay 430$ and I was like... fuck yes... aka I sold away my sexy digs for a fucking cardboard box and some tin cans... ah well... I guess that 70$ can be used for more weekend trips to kyoto and such...

OMG

Ahhh well... 5 days.
 
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to remember...   
03:54am 17/02/2009
  - get foriegn driving permit
- pick up brochures, menus, deposit/withdrawal forms
- make doctor's appointment for chest x-ray... (call back March 9th)
- call air canada to get flyer miles
- get gift for dong-il, other teachers in schools
- fill out visa application
- send out inofrmation in the mail to consulate

- buy new (good) shoes and (indoor) shoes
- get toiletries
- buy suits and ties
- notify credit card company of stay in Japan
- fix life
- read packets of information

update later...
 
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...   
04:19pm 29/12/2008
   I like the type of people who speed down the highway at 100 miles an hour, driving with there elbows, painting there nails, talking on their cell phone and smoking 100 cigerettes. I like the the type of people who sleep in a sarcophoguses, drapped in silken black neglejees. I've always had a soft spot for people who will talk about someone behind there back; you know real people.
So the next time someone calls you crazy, scream wind it up and push them down the nearest flight of stairs (figuratively) of course... because there is such thing as being crazy in a good way.
 
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03:20pm 14/12/2008
  what the fuck am I doing here... more importantly... why arent I on survivor?

 
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remember survivor?   
08:56pm 17/04/2008
  UHHH YA... So do I...

Ozzy just got blindsided and I love it... are you kidding me...

I can't wait to be on reality T.V. and start anew...





Ahhh to update once a year...
 
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SO SCARED   
09:10am 18/03/2008
  So this is a good way to start this again... im TRAPPED in class... wanting to kill everyone...

BRANDON is SO SCARED... he is eatting his sweater...

SO NERVOUS ... BRANDON.... said he would helpg me dgvot everythivgtng
 
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I'm going to Tokyo for 4 days...   
11:03am 01/12/2007
  As this trip winds down, I find it important to continuously bombard my internal organs with things like, bottles of vodka, infinite beers (nana biru), 20 gin and tonics, and finally roofies. I seriously need to NEVER DRINK AGAIN... but Karaoke is far to much fun... NO SERIOUSLY... They call me karaoke king... and for damn good reason...

I need to leave QUICKLY before anyone tells me what I did last night... NO SERIOUSLY.

Ohhh and some girl I met last night... I think she gave me 3,000 Yen after using my beds services...

Which is so fucking Japanese.
 
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Master Cleanse Diaries...   
01:57pm 03/11/2007
  So I've begun to stare wildly at people eating... Imagining myself chewing that food, ripping the meat off those bones... I'm quite savage actually. I've also realized I like cooking... With an insane spark in my eye, I stanch knifes out of people's hands and begin chopping their vegetables... I find myself adding spices to people's dishes in secret; more rosemary!

Not defeating my maddening spirit was the Japanese Arcade... like a true Otaku... I spent 2 hours... lurking, bags under my eyes, I left with a sore wrist... what from all the joystick throttling... this is in no way supposed to be sexually explicit. Japanese people have cards they insert into machines... then they can save their information onto the card and pick up the where they left off, the next day... pretty ingenious no?... Would get all those W.o.W. nerds out of the house... They could just play it in the arcade then... perhaps more social interaction?

In other news... I've begun shitting out black sludge... a.k.a. gum from 7th grade that was compacted in my small intestine... My tongue is brown... it has to go to pink before I'm suppose to go off the cleanse... sike... I'm two days away from binge eating chili and burritos... Japanese burritos. Ohhh and I'll gain the 12 pounds I've lost back... instantly...

Then I'll get drunk and fly into an alley.
 
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!!!!!!   
08:08pm 20/10/2007
  Dumbledore is GAY!!!!

J.K. said it herself!!!!

Now middle America will want to ban the book even more!!!!!
 
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Tokyo, part 2...   
02:48pm 19/10/2007
      Assorted types of pollution sting the senses in Tokyo. Shinjuku features endless vistas of burning neon lights. Cars screech, voices call, people sing; everything is bigger in Tokyo. In this way Tokyo, Osaka and Kyoto are quite different. I doubt anyone could find a single bird harmonizing in the morning light in Osaka, not to mention Tokyo. I hear it every morning outside my window here in Kyoto. I see insects everyday in Kyoto; spiders, cockroaches, centipedes. I saw nothing of the sorts in the city, not even a fly. So how about the city?... Tokyo is different from New York in the sense that I can sleep in the mafia district and not get robbed or mugged. I can be out till 4 in the morning... and I'm the scary one... what with my blond hair and blue eyes...

    As I stumbled around the biggest intersection in Tokyo, you know, the one in Shibuya where one million people cross a day, I remember fondly about the videos I took. What about that first night in Muse on Roppogi, near Tokyo midtown. You know, chains, blackjack, wind it up, everything someone could hope for in one place... Well, it was well documented on camera... Ohhh Shinagawa Prince Hotel, your Newsday provided many agood night... Sitting outside on the stoop, catcalling, while binge eating ramen. Shinjuku, your wonderful EPSON sign and you're countless side-alleys. Karaoke will always be fondly remembered, as a devil voice was conjoured from within... Time after time is really meant to be sung in D minor. What of that last picture I look near a pile of trash in Shinjuku, what of it? It will be burned onto the surface of my mind, forever. Harajuku, come back soon... stealing from within the depths of Takeshita was gratifying, but not as much as people watching, or sleeping on the steps of McDonalds. Akihabara, with all your gothic lolitas, and your seven story manga shop. Thanks for the hentai, especially the one with the school girl with hairy armpits. The best ramen on the planet lurks within the depth of Jyugaoka. Shimo Kitazawa, home to Eiko's Music Hall, I'll fondly recount the exclusive concert, the smoozing with golf course owners and private jet pilots... We met Dong-il there. Asakusa, tourist destination extordinaire, within the depths of Ueno, and home to my neon colored masks... I'll miss the pictures of those, what with everyone looking at us strangely. Ginza and it's architecture, rich global epicenters for Prada, Gucci... Lastly was Tsukiji and the murder scene that was the Fish market. Have you ever been somewhere where almost everything you see is something you've never seen before?

    So that final night where I deliberately dressed in all my newly purchased articles of clothing, becoming some sort of homeless Harajuku girl, it was in regards to that dreadful day when I lost my camera. At least I'll recount everything through words... and all those "Whad'ya lookin' ats" that scared all those Asians, those can be the closing for a terrible, yet mind-blowing trip to Tokyo.
 
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Would you let a Professor see you naked?   
09:01pm 08/10/2007
  Umm... apparently the Japanese don't have modesty issues. Less than an hour after meeting our Japanese (Osaka) Landscape Architecture Professor, I find myself being asked if I wanted to go to a Spa.

Well, yes, a spa sounds inviting...

Half an hour later, I'm walking around a giant bathhouse naked... with my professor... and student peers... and about 50+ Japanese men...

Uhhh... at least it was relaxing?...

All I can do when I address my professor now... Is picture him naked...

Awkward...
 
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HOLY SHIT   
05:33am 06/10/2007
  Okay... Im listening to FACE TO FUCKING FACE...

JEN... is that you... HUGH...

ohh wait... this ISNT FUCKING JUNIOR year...

THIS IS ME IN JAPAN.. pissed... it isnt junior year...

are you kidding me...

I've never been SO FUCKING nostalgic... and I've been nostalgic...

dressing like trolls, being sexy... things need to happen when I get outta here...

things need to get...

interesting...

I expect some sort of JUNIOR to meet me when I get back...

HOW DARE I BE A SUPER SENIOR... WASTED... in the (true) sense of the word...

I have knowledge... it needs to be transfered...

onto ...

something...

someone help me get high and work at the dining hall when I get back...

Parties at my house... Daft Punk, the Whisper Song... Cassy and Wind it up... for shits...

I hate drunken LJs.
haha
 
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